I met this seemingly brilliant young man last night. He insisted I call him "Daddy." We did some amazing things. I was up and I was down....but all the time he was inside. Telling me who I was, how to use my body, and asking who he was...."Daddy!" Over and over... Honestly, never called anyone Daddy, that much on life. I probably sounded weird, but this man used me like I was his to take. I was so down for him. It's been a great 11 years since I felt so good. And really; beyond the pleasure, I felt healed. Like he touches a special place, both inside me and within me. He is sensitive but passionate. Affectionate but demanding. Kind and concerned. I feel like I have built so many barriers to intimacy, so I as not even actualize it, if it's possible. But with "the Great," there is an instinctive understanding and longing for both of us. One the second night, after a 12 hour day of connecting and sensuality, where he convinced me "you ain
I need to record these thoughts to both assess myself and to be certain I make informed and definite decisions about the future. Nothing more have I sought, in life, than truth -- in family, in relationship, in learning, and in value. I have not experienced much psychological breakdown, recently, even though my mind is constantly filled with conflict. I am learning to live by principles, stay aware, and learn to love where I am -- without over-thinking. Of course, this is terribly difficult for me; but, "we try anyways." This one thing, though (this is usually how moments of overcoming and transformation occur) I cannot shake. And, it is an issue I wish I was not afflicted by; but, the mind has a way of repressing and protecting. As life happens, I have learned that our minds are always storing information, making connections, ascertaining our issues, and essentially sheltering itself, so as to not be troubled by the situations surrounding it. The issue I am suddenly troubled