The toughest thing to understand about life is knowing you have a difficulty, which cannot be controlled or manipulated. Most people are diagnosed with psychological disorders, see therapist and physicians, or have some coping mechanism providing them "a way out," if you will.
But for others, that are more intuitive & thoughtfully creative, the problem isn't a medical one. Yes, there's a possibility for a certain anxiety; but, in my experiences navigating this very esoteric life, the nature of 5his particular coping has more to do with finding strategic methods of development & acceptance, allowing one to continue his lifestyle.
Personally, my journey has been about, first, trying to process the reality, that, I am psychologically different. Aside from my usual bouts with depression, I believe, I do have an alternative way of thinking and constructing patterns and memories, which accordingly help to keep my life consistent, or alter it. Moreover, it's the inability to navigate this life--my life-in a concrete, ambitious way like other human beings do, which cause me certain life-threatening consequences.
For me, it's not that I necessarily realize there's an issue; but, that I encounter too many risks & opposing situations, which are completely different, than my own choices. Additionally, other people who are highly educated and trained in human personalities, culture, & sociability, somehow always finds me at any given moment, in my life, to force me into self-evaluating and self-criticisms, hardly proving beneficial but trivial. [Apparently, there is a certain standard to mental processing and completion, which can make or break an individual; and, my mental faculties are restricting me, so they say].
I'm not surpassed by my difficulties, because part of me always attempts to conquer challenges (past or fail), allowing me some form of development. But, I am surprised that the challenges continue, as if a chronic ache, virus, or other human ailment.
What I try to forgive about my life is, that I'm not perfect, despite the times I've tried to be; this is both (1) coping mechanism and (2) humbling myself. I did not necessarily create the life I have; I am simply the stewart of its efforts and ways. I am try only to win, in my existence, over and over and over, again. What more can I do...?
In conclusion, many times it's hard to decipher, who I am anymore or what I am. My human experience is constantly changing, and I'm manipulated by my beliefs without fully understanding the truth values or the reasons. Many times, the best I can do, is ALL I can do; sometimes, my best is faith-based; and, other times my best was not a choice, but a decision. I can only make chances from what I know; if, I don't possess enough understanding or knowledge, sure it's my mistake.
I would hope my world would not hold, that against me. But, who am I, if I don't know...?
I am just a boy, in a big, bad world. Unsatisfied by circumstance, uncomfortable with my consequences. The more I search, I loose my things...but, not my mind.
...Let That Be the Reason
But for others, that are more intuitive & thoughtfully creative, the problem isn't a medical one. Yes, there's a possibility for a certain anxiety; but, in my experiences navigating this very esoteric life, the nature of 5his particular coping has more to do with finding strategic methods of development & acceptance, allowing one to continue his lifestyle.
Personally, my journey has been about, first, trying to process the reality, that, I am psychologically different. Aside from my usual bouts with depression, I believe, I do have an alternative way of thinking and constructing patterns and memories, which accordingly help to keep my life consistent, or alter it. Moreover, it's the inability to navigate this life--my life-in a concrete, ambitious way like other human beings do, which cause me certain life-threatening consequences.
For me, it's not that I necessarily realize there's an issue; but, that I encounter too many risks & opposing situations, which are completely different, than my own choices. Additionally, other people who are highly educated and trained in human personalities, culture, & sociability, somehow always finds me at any given moment, in my life, to force me into self-evaluating and self-criticisms, hardly proving beneficial but trivial. [Apparently, there is a certain standard to mental processing and completion, which can make or break an individual; and, my mental faculties are restricting me, so they say].
I'm not surpassed by my difficulties, because part of me always attempts to conquer challenges (past or fail), allowing me some form of development. But, I am surprised that the challenges continue, as if a chronic ache, virus, or other human ailment.
What I try to forgive about my life is, that I'm not perfect, despite the times I've tried to be; this is both (1) coping mechanism and (2) humbling myself. I did not necessarily create the life I have; I am simply the stewart of its efforts and ways. I am try only to win, in my existence, over and over and over, again. What more can I do...?
In conclusion, many times it's hard to decipher, who I am anymore or what I am. My human experience is constantly changing, and I'm manipulated by my beliefs without fully understanding the truth values or the reasons. Many times, the best I can do, is ALL I can do; sometimes, my best is faith-based; and, other times my best was not a choice, but a decision. I can only make chances from what I know; if, I don't possess enough understanding or knowledge, sure it's my mistake.
I would hope my world would not hold, that against me. But, who am I, if I don't know...?
I am just a boy, in a big, bad world. Unsatisfied by circumstance, uncomfortable with my consequences. The more I search, I loose my things...but, not my mind.
...Let That Be the Reason
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