Skip to main content

It's All Good...Everything was Free.

I'm thirty-years old, and I'm early-morning pissing in a Happy Birthday cup, in my kid brother's living room. His bitch already told me to stop using her lights, during the day; but, I can't stop the mishappenings of my crippled, but laughable existence. (I'll probably cry, if I ever get this f-ing blog posted!)
It's continuously a mary-go-'round navigating this course of a dream, in which I've led myself. Yes, woo is me, and at this point it must be acceptable to realize the victor and the villain, in my life. I won't badger, or blister my head (literally) over its lack of foresight or connection to any truths, including the ones manifested in a younger, more impressionable me. In fact, this is still very much part of my motive and facets. I can, will, and have delivered what I am, as it becomes real to me. That's a type of freedom.
So, I'm thirty, and I'm probably about a quarter of the man I portray. I think to/in/for power, but I'm hanging by my bootstraps and I'm secretly being controlled. By my sex partner, my family, my circumstances, my past, by authority & forces-that-be, and the creator of it all. (Is that me, or Jesus' father?). In any case, I know no different. I'm just a product of my raising, and the challenge has always seemed to be within...so, here I flow.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Edward "the Great"

I met this seemingly brilliant young man last night. He insisted I call him "Daddy." We did some amazing things. I was up and I was down....but all the time he was inside. Telling me who I was, how to use my body, and asking who he was...."Daddy!" Over and over... Honestly, never called anyone Daddy, that much on life. I probably sounded weird, but this man used me like I was his to take. I was so down for him.   It's been a great 11 years since I felt so good. And really; beyond the pleasure, I felt healed. Like he touches a special place, both inside me and within me. He is sensitive but passionate. Affectionate but demanding. Kind and concerned.  I  feel like I have built so many barriers to intimacy, so I as not even actualize it, if it's possible. But with "the Great," there is an instinctive understanding and longing for both of us.  One the second night, after a 12 hour day of connecting and sensuality, where he convinced me "you ain...
1 comment
Read more

This Is A Man's World, Queen! (c/o Regenia Phillips)

Interview Thank You Note: c/o Regenia Phillips of Collin College Pertaining to the interview (or lack thereof), I would like to pose a rebuttal; not a question, as you may have requested. It was pointless, I might say, to prompt only two questions regarding my previous experience(s), which were prevalent in the resume before you. I assume, in the 30 minutes I was late, you had ample time to read over my resume; assert your opinions; and, make haste over my prior experiences. I am terribly glad, that I had respect enough for you, to apologize for my tardiness. But, if my being late were a problem, maybe your e-mail response should not have been "no problem." I would have gladly not shown myself, if I had known a blatant show of conceit and ridicule were in-store for me. It is of no place, for a hiring party--much less, a woman-- to judge the experiences of a [man] individual with callous and apprehensive intent. What could you possibly know about the plights of a man: how...
Post a Comment
Read more

End of the Road?

So, I been in it for a minute; by that, I mean a year and "pocket change." It's been a wild and tumultuous road, and somehow I'm still going. They say, when you're going through hell to keep going. I can't say this is hell, but it's a journey I never had before. Never thought it would cost so much to keep from being alone and supposedly submit oneself to something greater: an intimate relationship, that is. I could say the road to Christianity and perfection is much the same. Loving God is easy; but submitting yourself to faith, loving your neighbor,  overcoming enemies, taking the moral road and seeing beyond what it looks like both changes you and challenges you. It's a fight with yourself to overcome limitations the world has set. And, in a great way, one takes those same skills of faith and belief with him in any battle, or challenge. In a way, it leaves me feeling like I'm heading to a "point-of-no-return." When has luck run out? Or,...
Post a Comment
Read more